I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
