i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
