why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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