who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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