Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my sisters under your porch take her home
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
