Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
