I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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