I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
