I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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