Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she pinky promised me she was 18
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
