Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
