STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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