We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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