I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
