people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
