he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
