i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
