Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
vagina is talking i cant
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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