I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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