Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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