he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
