we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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