Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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