I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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