Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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