so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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