Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
