Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
