nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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