I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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