I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
