You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
