best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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