Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
