porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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