I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
