Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
