I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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