i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
