thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
