The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It's official drugs can't kill me
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
