Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
