'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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