Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize