Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
