I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Someone shattered a urinal.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
