can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
