Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
