i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
