Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
